four lonely years...

Pa, it’s been four long & lonely years but the pain still lingers. I know I should let go of this but it seems to want to stay longer than I expected. We’re all missing you both, we’re all living with this melancholy. But don’t you worry up there, we’re getting by. We just miss you so.

It was never the same since that ominous day. I still feel that fear of losing another, the sadness brought by futile whispers of prayers. That holding on & never letting go of the hope that you’re still there… breathing. The warmth of your hands reluctant to let go of mine. & God knows how I regretted leaving you in that room. I should have stayed for as long as you want to hold my hands. 

Papa, I’m so sorry for all those times I let you down. I know there are lots of them. I could start reminiscing & counting but I will never get to the finish line. Papa, I love you so much. I hope you could believe that…